Oh, the bitter irony
Of encouraging
Those around me
To get up when they fall
That they can do it
If they believe they can
Yet I do not do as I say.

Trapped in a
Permanent net of regrets
The recurring memories
Of past mistakes
Clouding my vision
A harsh reality
I cannot escape from.

I tell myself to change
But change does not
Happen overnight
Personalities do not modify
With a mere order
I lack the power
To do so.

It is a fight
Against none other
Than myself
My ultimate enemy
But the weapons
That lie around me
Are blunt and useless.

Everyday I search for
The torch to shine a light
Down these depths
Of pessimism
And self-pity,
And for the key out of
These hallows of grey.