Midnight Melancholy


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It’s a state of
Midnight Melancholy
Got tired of saying sorry
Here’s me wrecking my life story.

Everyday I stay up late
Deciphering things
My mind just wasn’t made
To comprehend.

Drowning in despair
Question marks in the air
My mind as blank as paper
I spent hours thinking
But I still don’t have an answer…

I’m not excelling in Excel.
Solver’s not solving my problems.

I’m a living paradox
Dragging myself to school
Like a broken corpse.

My dear, what are you even doing here?
How did I even join the dreaded
Herd of Black and White
What presentations
What calculations
What marketing strategies
Everything’s just
Strangling me.


Class Participation, Class Devastation


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They ask us to speak up
Have our names placed right in front of us
As if we were part of a conference
But it’s just like a performance.

I suppose nobody really
Would have contributed
If it wasn’t compulsory,
I see the stark difference
Between a 0% and a 30% component.

I never wanted to speak up
I would have been a silent sponge
Sitting there absorbing information
But even this sponge isn’t working.
Words flow in then out
I don’t even understand
What they’re talking about.

Put on a mask
Conceal that tremble of anxiety
Put on a mask
Plot that perfect strategy
Put on a mask
Pretend you know everything.

I hear people reciting essays
I hear the professor’s comments
I hear the worried voice in my head
Saying “Gosh my answer is far from perfect.”

Everybody’s in a race
Chasing the most detailed answer
Everybody’s in a race
To see who gets the prof’s approval
Everybody’s in a race
Everybody’s running for their A’s.

I just wish I had a little of
That intelligence from their heads.

Technical Tempest



​Bought a new laptop
But got a new regret
I had walked into the shop
With my mind all set
But got myself persuaded
And chose something else instead.

Wanted something light,
But this is heavier
Doesn’t help at all
When the one accompanying
Asks irrelevant questions
And let me deal with deciding.

I need to get back
Some of that stubborness
That keeps me from
Blindly agreeing from others.

Now another irritating matter here
Need to install Microsoft Office
But it isn’t working.
Already installed Java but
The website disagrees.

Tried the same thing many times
Waited so long for it to load
Feel like throwing everything
Yet this is too expensive to be thrown.

Downloading Microsoft Office
Was supposed to be free
But I guess that’s the trick:
Free things really don’t come easily.

Mad at this situation,
Mad at stupid systems
Mad at everything,
Mad at mostly me.

Three Weeks of Free Time



Three weeks of free time
I give myself a rest,
No matter what they say
I know myself best.

Three weeks of free time
I pick up something new,
So far for driving I’ve had
Lessons one and two.

Three weeks of free time
I continue playing my games,
Training my monsters
Over volcanoes and plains.

Three weeks of free time
Before university starts,
And it’s all networking
With work thrown like darts.

Three weeks of free time
But quite there yet.
I still have time to laze around,
Now that I’m an expert.

The Herd of Black and White



Too many people in big suits
I just came here to eat my food.
Too many people talking big
Hearing debates make me feel sick.

Too many events for the oh so smart
Please spare a thought for mere mortals like us.
I didn’t sit here to listen to you fuss
No, unlike you, I never cared as much.

They are a herd of black and white
Swarming the entire food court,
Snaking around the drinks stall…
What a horrible, bustling crowd.

A few days later
I am happy to announce
The herd of black and white
Has migrated to another area
More suited to their class.

I didn’t write this as a hate poem
But I guess this has been my secret anthem.




I’m pretty sure it’s all in my mind
But I feel this way every time.
I cast a shadow of despair,
There’s a tightness in the air.

I stare up at the cloudy sky
And ask myself again “Oh why
I never ever seem to learn
It’s a thing I can’t discern.”

It wasn’t a case of carelessness
I wasn’t completely unaware.
Selecting what I wanted to see,
I dissolved the rest
Into a cloud of mist.

Sensitive, sensible I might describe,
But in it all lies a worthless pride.
Excuses pour down like the rain
Every streak leaving an ugly stain.

Sometimes I just want
To dig a hole
And disappear.

Sometimes I worry
That my actions will cause
My social circle
To rot and decay.

Worlds of Ink and Shadow by Lena Coakley


Worlds of Ink and Shadow is an eerily enthralling novel. Lena Coakley cleverly weaves in the historical background of the Brontë family together with the magic of crossing over to imaginary worlds, created by the siblings. The novel draws readers to discover the “deathless bonds between writers and their creations”.

The novel focuses on Charlotte, Branwell, Emily and Anne, and is positioned around ten years after the deaths of their two older sisters. Charlotte and Branwell have created a world called “Verdopolis”, born from their stories. The two of them even get to cross over to this world and interact with their beloved characters… but at a price. Overcoming this is also difficult when Emily and Anne are not as innocent as they seem, and the Verdopolis characters themselves haunt the siblings for letting them go.

Brief background on the Brontë family: Charlotte, Emily and Anne Brontë were nineteenth century authors who wrote under the male pseudonyms of Currer, Ellis and Acton Bell. Their most famous work was Charlotte Brontë’s bestseller Jane Eyre. Branwell was the only son in the family, and was a painter and writer.

What fascinates me is how closely detailed the characters are to the actual Brontë family. The story runs so smoothly, straddling fact and fiction. For instance, Coakley’s version of the story behind Branwell’s painting was spine-chilling as I visualised the incident. Throughout the story, Coakley has played with references that linked to the real lives of the family. The deaths of the two elder sisters, Maria and Elizabeth, have deeply influenced the works of the Brontës, and this is echoed in the novel, especially in the retelling of what happened in Clergy Daughters’ School. Personally, doing a bit of research on the Brontë family made me appreciate the book even more.

Unlike the Brontës’ real novels, Worlds of Ink and Shadow is not what people may find intimidating ‘heavy reading’. Instead, it carries readers off in a thrilling, engrossing read.

Coherently Incoherent




It was honestly
Just a casual remark,
But it conjured confusion
That led to tiring explanation
And made me regret mentioning it.

I once wrote with clarity
Yes, clear I once were.
But coherence has left me.
I have sensed it ever since
The start of the year.

Oh this was something trivial,
It was meant to be a joke.
I guess I was just too hungry
And hungry minds don’t work.

Alas, this is definitely
Just another queer product
Of mindless overthinking.

Snakes and Ladders


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I waited and waited, and now it came.
But the past and present are never the same.
I thought my eyes would light up
And that I would jump up
In joy that it was what I wanted.

It was what I wanted,
Since two years ago.
It seemed so prestigious,
It was my goal.
But now that I made it,
I don’t feel that way anymore.

It makes me proud to say that
My mind is finally crystal clear.
Gone is the past despair,
Gone is the disappointment.
I finally have it all figured out.

My heart has been heavy these days
But now I feel the breeze in my hair,
The warmth of the sun’s rays,
The lightness of my steps.

That is not to say
That everything will be easy.
No, I see
The twists and turns of my path,
The high hills and steep stumps –
Life is a game of Snakes and Ladders.

It will be challenging.
The heavy workload,
The quest for opportunities,
The deadly competition.

I may not get what I want.
I may fall behind in the marathon,
And see others thrive and shine
In areas I wanted but lost.

It may be, but
I made it this far.
I know, and I believe
I have the power to succeed.

It’s going to another game
Of Snakes and Ladders,
And I’m gonna make it to the top.





Tension –
Waiting, waiting, waiting
Time ticks so slowly
Daily checks of the inbox
But no responses received.

Fear –
Maybe I made the wrong choice
Maybe the rankings are wrong
Maybe I would end up
With something I wouldn’t like
But I can’t change them anymore.

Anxiety –
It’s no longer within my control anymore.
I wish I could have been firmer
And decide that I was what I wanted.
Instead this fragile heart
Crumples in constant worry.

Perhaps realism is my downfall.

The rain pours,
The skies roar with thunder and lightning.
Yet it is in this thunderstorm
That I feel the calmness of my heart.

The wind blew open
The constrained windows of my mind,
Offering me wisdom of possibilities,
Washing away my clouded vision.

I believe in destiny.
I believe that whatever it is I get,
I will make it the best for me.